Definite
by Iluvpurpleandblack99
Summary: "In life, nothing is definite but the worst mistake I made, was thinking you were always going to be there."


**AN: Sorry for the long hiatus. I've been actually writing a bit but, I can't complete anything lately. The thing is, I've been kinda depressed about the direction of my life is heading. It's complicated and long-ish so, I don't want to bore you. Anyway, this story, is inspired by a blue eyed boy who I love and can't get over. Sorry if it's OOC but, I'm a bit rusty since it's been a while since I've wr****itten so, I hope it doesn't completely suck. I hope you like it and I'm going to try and write more this coming year. Oh, and the narrator is Gwen. Enjoy! :D**

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><p>I've learned that nothing in life is definite; people, friends, family but, the worst thing of all is that I thought you'd be the exception. It seemed to me that no matter what happened, you'd always be there and now, you weren't. It's funny how I never knew that everything could change within the blink of an eye just because of a simple confession of feelings for you yet, it has. I feel the distance; I feel pain because you don't look at me the same anymore and I wish I could take back everything and I just can't. Do you know what it's like every time your mention? It's like a stabbing feeling, piercing me over and over again until I break, and I try to act like nothing is wrong but, that's the opposite. I still think of you at times and I have caught myself smiling and then, I frown because I miss you.<p>

Do you know that I still look for you? I like seeing you because I can't get over you and that's something that hurts me most of all because I know you don't feel the same. It hurts but the pain comes and goes at times and that is something I'm lucky for. He tries to take away my pain and he just might make me smile but the whole time, I'm wishing he was you instead **(1).** Why? I don't quite understand myself although, I think I have a theory. He makes me laugh and smile like you do though, I've never developed feelings for him; only you, my blue eyed boy.

The mistake I made was admitting the truth, I believe because that's what created the distance. I feel like you became scared when I admitted I liked you and you did what you thought was right. Well, that was nice what you did but, it's really my fault. I don't know why I just didn't say 'I love you" back to you when you said it to me or instead, why I said "As what?" That will be the regret I will always have because I knew I said the wrong thing. It sounded rude, it sounded confusing, and in that moment, I knew I missed out. It hurts when I think about it because that moment was beyond crucial; so crucial that I hesitated and said the wrong thing** (2).** I've learned there is a time for silence but, If you know how you feel and how to phrase it, you'll know **(3). **

I will look back on that moment and say "I should have said it but, I didn't" and the good thing is that I did speak up and say how I knew I felt but, I just didn't say everything I could have. I have this nagging feeling, it makes me wonder if when you said those three words to me, that you could have meant it. I wish for it to be true but, it's probably some deluded fantasy of mine. The way your eyes sparkled and shined, the way your voice sounded when you said it, the way you looked at me; all of these signs make me think otherwise. For now, I'll just believe how lucky I was to hear you say the words I've dreamed about for almost a year now. You don't know how much it meant to me when you said that and for everything you have done for me. I say this now because I didn't say this then; I love you too, Duncan.

I wish I could tell you this yet, I can't because we no longer talk and the air around us is tense. I ponder why however, I know my answer, very clearly. If I could talk to you, I'd say these words, I miss you terribly and I wish everything was the same again. I know that it will never be the same, no matter what I do but, don't forget me. I may not have said these words at the right time to you but, I'm saying them here and now. That's better than having regrets, to me. I have learned that in life, nothing is definite, and I should have known that you weren't the exception to that rule.

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><p><strong>AN: Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama IslandAction/World Tour/ Revenge Of The Island or Taylor Swift/ Her quotes/Her songs (I wish I totally did though!). I only own this story. I thought I should do a disclaimer just because it seemed about time, lol! . Also, I realized Taylor Swift had a huge impact in this one-shot because I found myself thinking of her songs, listening to them when writing this, and even using some of her quotes through this. Now, it's time for me to explain phrases or things used in this story:**

**(1) - That's almost the exact same line in Taylor Swift's song, Haunted. The song lyric in her song is "He will try to take away my pain, and he just might make me smile. But the whole time, I'm wishing he was you, instead."**

**(2) - That quote is from her again. The exact quote is "In real life, saying the right thing at the right moment is beyond crucial. So crucial, in fact that most of us start to hesitate, for fear of saying the wrong thing at the wrong time."**

**(3)- The last is another quote from her saying "There is a time for silence. There is a time for waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you'll know it. I don't think you should wait. I think you should speak now."**

**So, that's all the quotes and I'm sorry for to much Taylor Swift if you hate her. Another thing I should make clear is that the guy who is mention by "He" is Trent. I don't know why I didn't say his name in the story. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed my one-shot and if you review, try to make it nice. Even if you hated my story. For now, bye! I love all my readers and thank all of you for being so nice! :D**


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